


Learn to Live a Little

by litto_fish



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Death, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Miscommunication, Multi, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, well at least i think there'll be angst because than is a lil emo boy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:14:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27430021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/litto_fish/pseuds/litto_fish
Summary: Thanatos is Death Incarnate. He is very busy and works VERY hard so he has no time to play babysitter for the deadbeat prince of the Underworld, much less PINE for him (Hades forbid) but that seems to be all he's doing nowadays.
Relationships: Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 80





	1. Death Approaches

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello, i've fallen deep into Hades hell and have been documenting canon Thanatos dialogue like i'm getting paid for it or something. i've beaten both the epilogues and there's still so much new dialogue, thank you Supergiant (everyone say 'thank you' Supergiant). since this is canon compliant, beware spoilers okay? i will mark spoilers at the beginning of each chapter. comments appreciated!

_Typical Zagreus_ , Thanatos seethes. _Typical Zagreus, leaving just like that and telling me nothing. Typical._ He looms over the cowering man in front of him for a little longer than usual, swings his scythe down a little harder than usual. He belatedly wonders if he’s letting his anger affect his work. No matter. He needs to deliver this shade to Tisiphone, then get back to the House for his next assignment. 

He doesn’t need to check with his brother about the last time Zagreus came crawling out of the Styx or see if Megaera’s sulking in the lounge after being defeated. He definitely doesn’t need to find and confront Zagreus. He really doesn’t. 

But his resolve crumbles away when he returns to the House, reports to Lord Hades, and out of the corner of his eye, sees his mother trying and failing to appease a grumbling, muttering Fury. Thanatos and Nyx lock eyes for the briefest of moments and he decides that yes, he really does need to find and confront Zagreus. In a flash of green, he finds himself in Elysium. 

A cheeky grin appears on Zagreus’s face and Thanatos reminds himself that he’s supposed to be mad. He’s supposed to be feeling anger and betrayal, not this… _weird_ relief. He notes the prince’s ragged breathing and the blood dripping from his head, his torso, his legs, and grips his scythe a little harder. Zagreus’s smile disappears and his mismatched eyes harden. 

“Thought you could just get away from me, did you?” Thanatos says. 

“Thanatos.” Zagreus shifts his blade to his dominant hand and lowers his stance. “I figured it was only a matter of time before Father sent you after me to do his dirty work.” 

Thanatos lets out a derisive snort. “Is that really why you think I’m here?” He looks to the golden seals materializing on the grass and Zagreus follows his gaze. “Let’s see how many of these exalted champions you can send back to their dooms, unless you’d rather I would send you back to yours.”

Zagreus may be fast, but Thanatos is much faster. A practiced hand, and whatnot. Or maybe it’s the prince’s exhaustion and injuries finally catching up with him, as he darts from shade to shade, swinging his blade wildly. He cries out as another arrow pierces his shoulder and it takes all of Thanatos’ control not to whip his head around in that direction. He turns his head slowly, instead, and tells himself it’s so he can look out for the next batch of shades that might materialize. 

But the shades don’t come. Thanatos lets out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding and teleports over to the doors leading to the next chambers. He watches Zagreus pocket some of Charon’s obol and stumble in his direction, leaving blood splatter and scorched footprints on the ground as he goes. Once the prince reaches his side, he drops his sword with a soft _‘thump_ ’ and flops onto the grass, panting. 

Thanatos looks away. “You left, without so much as telling me good-bye,” he says quietly, not at all trying to hide the bitterness in his tone. “I suppose you knew I’d catch up with you sooner or later, is that it? No escaping death, and all?”

He feels a tug at the hem of his chiton and looks down. Zagreus’ eyes are closed, his lips pursed as he breathes deeply through his nose. Thanatos thinks that expression on the prince’s face is one of remorse, but he can’t quite tell. He used to be able to tell. 

“I left when it was necessary, Than.” Thanatos feels his breath hitch in his throat at the nickname and swallows hard. He feels that anger he’d repressed coming to a boil in his chest, until Zagreus opens one eye, his green eye. There’s a look, a flare he’s certainly never seen before, Thanatos thinks. “I thought of you and hoped you’d understand. I have to do this.”

 _Do what?_ Thanatos wants to say. _Abandon your friends and family for another family you’ve never known? Leave without so much of an explanation or even a goodbye?_ He scoffs and looks away once again. 

“That’s more motivation than I’ve ever heard from you. Well, if you won’t say it, I’ll say it.” He shakes himself loose from the prince’s grasp, ignoring his weak protests. “Good-bye, Zagreus.” 

In another flash of green, Thanatos is back at the House, at his favorite spot at the southwest balcony. He lets go of the railing he didn’t realize he was holding too tightly and lets the muscles in his shoulders relax and fall. 

Breathe in. 

He must have an assignment by now, he thinks. He has to work. 

Breathe out. 

He should’ve brought Zagreus back with him when he had the chance. 

Breathe in.

It wasn’t too late, he could go back to Elysium and drag the prince back to the House before he could even realize what was happening. 

Breathe out.

So what if he’d be betraying the prince? He was already betraying the House by letting the brat go, and - ! ...And the prince already abandoned the House, abandoned Lord Hades and Mother Nyx, abandoned _him_ …

Breathe in. 

But Zagreus would never forgive him for such a betrayal. He could hate Zagreus all he wanted and Zagreus would still try to talk to him, still try to be friends with him because that’s just how Zagreus is. 

But if it was the other way around…? If Zagreus hated him…? He’d find a way out of the Underworld somehow (because that’s just how Zagreus is), and never see or speak to him again because he’d be on the surface with his other family and he’d _hate_ him...

Thanatos lets out a shaky breath, lets himself drop, lets his feet touch the ground for the first time in a long time. He finds himself doubling over with a strange ache in his chest, and clutches the railing hard so he doesn’t curl into a ball on the floor. He is Death Incarnate, he has a little more decorum than that. Plus, Hypnos would tease him about it for weeks.

He focuses on the sounds of the Styx below because the thoughts in his head are much too loud and much too vile for his liking and he doesn’t know how to handle the possibility of Zagreus hating him or never coming back.

But luckily enough, Thanatos doesn’t have to entertain the latter thought because a loud splashing and sputtering from below drags him out of his own head. He straightens up and peers over to the source of the noise from his vantage point on the balcony and feels his heart ache once more. Zagreus is back.


	2. The Prince Returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> their dialogue's so short when they first interact (and for good reason) but i like adding some stuff from time to time

Zagreus is loud. Thanatos is both grateful and annoyed that Zagreus is loud because he can focus on the prince’s conversations instead of his own racing thoughts, but the fact that it’s the _prince’s_ conversations annoys him beyond belief. He hears Zagreus’s short and clipped argument with Lord Hades, hears his playful tone - practically baby talk - with the three-headed hound. Is it considered eavesdropping when Zagreus is just loud? 

Thanatos finally hears Achilles’s kind and soft reassurance, and knows that Zagreus is now just down the hall behind him. Would Zagreus talk to him? Oh, blood and darkness, he wants Zagreus to talk to him. He’d really like if Zagreus talked to him. Not like he’d initiate conversation though. But as furious as Thanatos is, Zagreus did come back. Unwillingly, though. But the fact is that he’s back and they could talk again… if Zagreus wanted. 

Thanatos decides he’ll let Zagreus come to him. There’s no expectations that way, he tells himself. There’s no disappointment if Zagreus decides to just waltz away and try to escape without telling him _once again -_

“Thanatos?” 

Scowling, he turns around to find Zagreus smiling shyly at him. Thanatos feels his heart skip a beat and swats the feeling away before he can identify it. 

“Go about your business, Zag.” He sees the prince’s smile widen ever so slightly at the nickname and curses himself for his carelessness. “What if Lord Hades saw us chatting like this, now…? I risked everything by helping you out there, and still you failed.” 

Zagreus keeps smiling, but Thanatos recognizes his stiffened posture, the indignant look in his eyes. Perhaps Thanatos had been harsher than he meant to be and he almost feels bad. Almost.

“Turns out there’s quite a lot of dead to fight down in the Underworld,” the prince quips. “Though I probably got farther than I would have, thanks to you.”

“...How far?” 

“What?”

“How far did you get, Zagreus?” 

Zagreus scratches the back of his head and looks down, a hint of red coloring his cheeks. “...The, uh. The minotaur and the other guy,” he grumbles. 

Thanatos raises an eyebrow. “You fought Asterius and Theseus, the champions of Elysium?” 

“Yeah, them,” Zagreus sighs. “That’s kind of unfair, isn’t it? Two on one? How am I supposed to beat one of them while the other is rushing at me, _cackling_ at me!” Thanatos wants to laugh, but the conversation is getting too familiar for his taste, especially when he’s supposed to be furious with this man. 

“But, you know, I was able to defeat at least the minotaur this time, before that insufferable _hero_ summoned aid from Olympus. I mean, who’s side are they on anyway? But really, Than, I couldn’t have gotten that far without your help.” With the mention of the Olympians, Thanatos remembers that they’re talking about the fact that Zagreus is actively trying to escape from the Underworld, perhaps for forever, and he can feel a wicked anger bubble and rise in his throat. He coughs, catching the prince’s attention. 

“Always happy to oblige,” he says sarcastically. Deflated, Zagreus pouts and looks at him pitifully. 

Oh, _no_ . How _dare_ he. He had no right to pull this hurt puppy-dog routine, all sorrowful and guilty, while he was still trying to leave behind everything he knew and loved. If he had any remorse, he’d stop what he was doing and just stay home.

“Especially when it causes me to risk my station. To risk everything I’ve worked for,” Thanatos spits out, taking a step back. Then, he teleports away before he gets a chance to see the look on Zagreus’s face, to regret his harsh words and disposition, to stay back and comfort the forlorn prince. 

The god of death stays on the surface for a little longer this time around.


	3. Once More With Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i realized it's better to combine the death approaches encounter with the convo that happens in the house afterwards, so ~slightly~ longer chapters from here on out. also everyone say hello hypnos, i love hypnos he sounds like a little squeaky toy and i just want to smush him like a bug :)

Thanatos misses him. He really misses Zagreus. That’s the only explanation for why he’s trying to complete his tasklist at the speed of sound. He feels an inexplicable pull toward Asphodel Meadows - quite a misnomer now - and the only explanation for _that_ is because Zagreus must miss him, too.

Secretly, he’s very pleased that Zagreus is still trying to escape. Because it means he hasn’t reached the surface yet. Thanatos reaps yet another wretched, screaming soul, shaking his head and telling himself that it’s _bad_ to be pleased that Zagreus keeps dying over and over, but the smallest of smiles graces his face anyway. He teleports to the chamber of the Erinyes, pushing the frightened shade to their knees at Meg’s feet. She readies her whip and he turns to leave. 

“He fought Alecto this time,” Meg says quietly. 

“So, he’s -” 

“Thanatos.” He pauses. “Why do you keep helping him?” 

_Why…?_ Honestly, he hasn’t quite figured it out yet either. He would rather not see Zagreus leave, especially with the risk of his departure being permanent and all. Then there’s the matter of Lord Hades’s subtle rage if, or maybe when he eventually finds out, but… the deadbeat prince is trying so hard. He’s never tried this hard for anything before, and ever since his first escape attempt, Zagreus has had nothing but laser focus on his goal and it fills Thanatos up with some warm, fuzzy, _unwelcome_ feeling. 

Plus, he’s never seen Zagreus happier. And really, he just wants to see Zagreus happy. 

Sensing his internal turmoil, Meg clicks her tongue. 

“Forget I asked. Go get him, Than,” she says with a smirk, turning her attention to the new shade before her. Thanatos tips his head in thanks and teleports away. 

* * *

Asphodel is much too hot for his liking. He can feel the sweat starting to form on the back of his neck and across his forehead, and is immensely thankful that he cut his hair before all this flooding nonsense. He is also thankful that the heat gives him an excuse to look irritated, because he is _definitely_ irritated at Zagreus’s reaction to his arrival.

“Thought I might find you all the way out here. Although, quite frankly, I’m surprised you’re still alive,” he remarks, taking note of Zagreus’s physical state. He’s worse, compared to the first time they ran into each other in Elysium. His chiton is singed and rivulets of red blood trickle down from open wounds on his arms and chest. One of his eyes, the green one, is bruised and so swollen that Thanatos can hardly see it. All of these injuries are no doubt due to his new weapon, the Eternal Spear. _Where did he even get access to -?_

Varatha seems so long and ungainly next to Zagreus’s shorter frame and Thanatos wonders whether he should give him a centaur heart right away.

“I can hold my own in case you haven’t noticed, Than,” Zagreus snarks back, brandishing his spear. Ah. So there _are_ hard feelings then.

 _He’s mad at you because you were very harsh to him last you spoke and he has every right to be,_ Thanatos reminds himself as he breathes in through his mouth and out through his nostrils. _Just because he’s mad at you doesn’t mean he hates you._

The tips of the bident have a deadly, faintly green glint to them that Thanatos thinks he saw last time on the Stygian blade. One of the Olympians, he realizes, aiding his escape. His golden eyes narrow with disdain.

“I haven’t noticed, _Zag_!” He says the nickname with a sneer and the prince’s eyes flash dangerously. “Now, stand back, and let me show you how it’s done.” 

Then come the inferno bombers. On top of being much too hot, Asphodel is also much too loud. Thanatos winces at every explosion, especially the ones punctuated by Zagreus’s groans. It would be so much better if Zagreus just sat back and let him rid the chamber of all the shades, but no, the fool chooses to fling himself into harm’s way. And for what? _Pride_? To prove that he can hold his own? Thanatos clenches his jaw as a bell tolls and he brings his scythe down on yet another horde of shades. _A fool_. 

Meanwhile, Zagreus is doing the exact opposite of proving that he can hold his own. Every time he lifts his spear in some attempt to power his swing, the enemy has more of a chance to get the better of him. New weapon, indeed, Thanatos thinks as another bomb knocks the prince off balance into the lava. 

Nonetheless, there’s something remarkable about the way Zagreus just won’t give up. He’s a quick study, artfully changing tactics mid-fight. He dashes through the shades while attacking them, then turns around at lightning speed to throw the spear at their exposed backs. Thanatos catches himself staring at the way Zagreus’s muscles move whenever he catches the spear, and forces himself to focus on the task at hand, admonishing himself under his breath. 

While Zagreus may be a quick study, he adopts this new tactic too late and the shades stop appearing before he can overtake the god of death’s kill count. He’s close though, Thanatos admits, something Zagreus seems to note, even relish in. The prince wears a haughty little smile as he walks over to receive another boon from another Olympian. He and his weapon are enveloped in a pink light. Thanatos scoffs and rolls his eyes. 

Zagreus limps his way over to the rafts for the next chamber. His smile disappears as he regards Thanatos curiously, using his spear to prop him up. 

Thanatos can’t read his expression. He hates that he can’t read his expression.

“What’s with the look? You had your hands full, now you don’t, thanks to me…” Thanatos grumbles. He feels his cheeks warm under the prince’s silent, piercing stare. This was a bad idea. He shouldn’t have come after all. “ _Tsch_ , seems I’m left to thanking myself, since you’re too proud to do it.” 

* * *

Thanatos doesn’t wait for a response as he teleports back to the House of Hades, telling himself that the only reason his face is red is because of the scorching heat of Asphodel. As he cools down in more ways than one, he hears Hypnos calling for him from the main hall. And since Hypnos is Hypnos, there is no way he’s going to get up and go to his brother. Instead, he will stay put and caterwaul and annoy _everyone_ until Thanatos goes to him. 

So Thanatos teleports all of ten feet to his brother’s side. No matter how many times he does this, Hypnos is always startled, yelping and fumbling with his clipboard. 

“What, brother?” 

“Thanatos! You’re back! I’ve really missed you, you know, since you’re so busy all the time and you hardly ever come to visit -” Hypnos moves to hug him, but Thanatos floats just out of arm’s reach. 

“ _What, brother_?” He repeats stonily. Normally, he’d allow one hug or at least for Hypnos to throw his arms around him and dangle off his neck, but right now he refuses to be the reason his brother gets distracted and scolded by Lord Hades again. Hypnos puffs out his cheeks in frustration, but retreats anyway. 

“So, uh, Lord Hades wishes to see you. Not right now, of course, he’s still getting through… _this_.” Hypnos gestures vaguely at the line of whispering shades ambling about in front of them. “Partially my fault, I think his lordship is backed up because _I’m_ backed up, but - Yeah, anyway! He says it’s something about your ‘recent absences,’ whatever that means! What did you do? Did you do something wrong?” Hypnos’s eyes are practically sparkling. 

“Don’t know,” Thanatos lies smoothly, running a shaky hand through his hair. He hasn’t had an audience with Lord Hades in many years, at least, not about his work performance, and he was growing increasingly uncomfortable with the thought. “Thank you, Hypnos. Try not to fall more behind.” 

Suddenly, he hears frantic splashing and a loud gulping gasp from the Styx. The brothers turn their heads. 

Ah. Zagreus. 

“Welcome to the House of Hades!” Hypnos chirps. Thanatos does not want to witness the fool of a prince drag himself out of the pool of blood, so he teleports back to his balcony. He doesn't know if the prince will talk to him this time since he was obviously upset with him in Asphodel, but he can’t leave until he has his audience with Lord Hades. So he looks out to the slow-moving waters of the Styx, biting the inside of his cheek and willing his anxiety away. 

“Thanatos.” 

_Thank the gods._

Thanatos turns just his head to find Zagreus standing awkwardly behind him, looking completely uninjured and refreshed after his dip in the Styx. But his eyebags are darker, his cheeks more sunken, and there is no smile upon his face this time. Thanatos squeezes his eyes shut. He wishes Zagreus would just stop already, stop and rest, or at least pause for just a day. But the prince has always been stubborn and rebellious, and now, he’s also determined and persistent, too. How annoying. 

“Be on your way, Zagreus. I have an audience with Lord Hades in a moment. An inquiry into my recent absences.” He tries to mask his worry with an icy tone, but Zagreus knows him better than that. The prince takes a step forward, but freezes under the god of death’s glare.

“What are you worried about, Than?” Zagreus no doubt remembers the last thing Thanatos said to him last time they were on this balcony together, if his nervous laughter is any indication. “You’ve never given him a reason not to trust you.”

Thanatos whirls around angrily, but stops himself when he sees Zagreus’s expression. Is he really worried about him? Does he really care? No, Thanatos can’t let himself think that he might actually care or he’ll break down. And he can’t do that, not before he has to meet with Lord Hades. 

“Recently I’m not so sure.” Thanatos floats closer to the prince, towering over him. Zagreus gives back as harsh of a glare as he’s getting and it just about breaks Thanatos’s heart. “Whatever you’re doing, it had better be worth it,” he hisses. 

Then, because he can’t bear the fact he might actually wilt under Zagreus’s anger, he teleports away to the administration room. The prince had his rights to this room revoked, he reminds himself. Thanatos lets out a sigh of relief and leans back against a wall of scrolls. 

The chattering in the room dies down as the shades steal glances at the god of death, trembling and slumped over in the corner. Thanatos blinks and straightens up, realizing that while he may be far away from Zagreus, he is far from alone. 

“What are you all looking at? Get back to work!”


	4. Third Time's the Charm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear i don't usually write this fast, i just have a lot of feelings about thanatos today. please do not expect daily updates, i'm not physically capable of that but i will try :)) speaking of fast, my fastest time in Hades is finally under 18 minutes yeehaw! let's get my writing up to speed.,

Thanatos is cranky. He tries not to let his emotions get the better of him. He is a chthonic god. He is Death Incarnate. He is punctual, he is precise, and he does not make mistakes. He cannot afford to make mistakes. 

Because the last time he made a mistake (involving a certain _xenia_ -breaking king), he’d gotten chained up. No one could die, which is more of a problem than one would think, so the whole mortal realm was thrown into chaos. The Olympians had to get involved. It was not a good time.

After that, he threw himself into his work more vigorously than ever. No mistakes, no complaints, no audiences with Lord Hades. Everything was perfect, or as close to as perfect as he could manage. 

But recently, Thanatos is often late and, dare he say, sloppy. And he is deliberately making mistakes. One mistake, to be precise, one smooth-talking, flame-footed, very stubborn, very _handsome_ mistake who happens to be the prince of the Underworld.

Who happens to be the _son_ of his _boss._

Thanatos groans and lowers his head into his hands. The recently deceased shade beside him watches his nervously and trembles. 

“You doing all right there, mate?” The swift messenger god shimmers into view beside him. Thanatos regains his composure instantly and wonders if Hermes saw him in his pitiful state. The Olympian gives him a once-over and raises an eyebrow. Ugh, who is he kidding, of course he did. “Not that I have time to stay and chat or anything, but just know that you’re doing a real good job, even with everything happening down there lately! Keep it up!” 

Hermes flashes him a toothy grin and two thumbs up before whisking the protesting shade away, shimmering out of view before Thanatos can even process what he said. _Everything happening down there lately?_ What was that supposed to mean? Did he mean Zagreus? Does he know about the Zagreus escaping thing? More importantly, does he know about the whole ‘I might have been late because I was helping Zagreus escape, but I swear it was only twice’ thing?

Oh, blood and darkness, if word gets out any more than it already has…

Thanatos is the god of death. He knows who he is, knows his role in the universe. In fact, _everybody_ in the House of Hades knows who they are, and their role in the grand scheme of things. Lord Hades and Mother Nyx govern the Underworld, the Erinyes dole out appropriate retribution, he and his brothers each do their part in escorting and registering shades, even Cerberus knows to be a loyal, intimidating guard dog for crying out loud. Everybody knows their role and everybody's doing it, because if they didn't, the world would fall apart.

Everybody except for Zagreus. Son of Hades, prince of the Underworld. Trying to leave the very place he is meant to govern. 

_How very lucky of him_ , Thanatos thinks bitterly as he tracks down yet another miserable shade. _How very lucky that the whole world doesn’t fall to pieces when he’s not doing his job. How lucky that the damage is only minimized to the Underworld, and Lord Hades, and Mother Nyx, and_ **_me_ ** _…_

The thought of Zagreus has Thanatos teleporting back to Elysium instead of completing his task. If he's late again, if he gets scolded again, so be it. He's already in a bad mood. He tamps down the small hint of relief that sprouts when he sees Zagreus noticeably less injured than he was during their previous run-ins. 

But Thanatos is cranky and he lets his emotions get the better of him more often than he realizes. 

“Still running from yourself, I see. How’s that been working out for you thus far?” he jabs, not caring anymore if Zagreus’s feelings are hurt. 

The prince is in no mood to exchange niceties this time around, either. Thanatos can see that his repeated failures have only stoked the flames of determination in him, practically filling him with a sense of confidence different from his usual airy swagger. Zagreus nocks an arrow in the gleaming heart-seeking bow, but does not raise it to aim, instead piercing Thanatos with his words.

“I’m searching for my mother. You still live at home with yours. You don’t know what it’s like.”

 _Mother - ?_ Unfortunately, Thanatos cannot process this bit of information because, with the mention of Nyx, the anger within him that has been threatening to boil over for so many days is finally spilling up and out. Zagreus could be mad at him all he wanted, could hate him even, and Thanatos would learn to live with it. But to cast aside Mother Nyx so flippantly, as if she didn’t work tirelessly to keep the Underworld under control, as if she didn’t raise Zagreus like her own child, _love_ him like her own child...Thanatos can feel his anger burning up through his chest and he opens his mouth. It needs to get out and he no longer cares who gets hurt in the process.

“How _dare_ you - Don’t you dare bring her into this. Mother Nyx was like a mother to you, too!” Thanatos shouts, words dripping venom. “And this is how you repay her? You should be ashamed of yourself, and learn your place.” 

Zagreus is stunned, having never heard his childhood friend’s reach this volume before, and loosens his grip on Coronacht. But before he can say or do anything, a Nemean chariot barrels toward the prince. It takes all of his concentration to jump out of the roaring chariot’s path behind a wall of hoplite statues. Even his Hermes-aided weapon of choice is not doing him well in the matter of speed, especially not against Thanatos’s ruthless proficiency, and he comes to understand the meaning behind the term “sudden death.” 

This isn’t work, Thanatos tells himself as he cuts down one champion after another, so technically, he’s not letting anger affect his work. But that doesn’t negate the fact that he’s taking a little too much pleasure each time he drags his scythe through yet another leg or torso or neck, or the fact that his chest is heaving with more than just exertion, that his vision is hazy and tinged with red. 

It has barely been minutes when the shades stop materializing. Thanatos breathes heavily as he searches for his next target, frenzied eyes scanning the green fields until they come to land on the only being left, who has not moved from his spot behind the hoplite statues. 

Zagreus’s expression is one of wonder and fear and remorse, and Thanatos could almost cry. He hates that Zagreus is looking at him that way. He hates that Zagreus has to see him this way. He yanks his hood over his head and turns away sharply. 

Breathe in. Breathe out. 

Thanatos is Death Incarnate and he cannot let his emotions get the better of him. Because if he does, this is what happens. 

“Than,” Zagreus whispers, but Thanatos is gone.


	5. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: alcohol
> 
> no escape attempt this time because we all need a little drunk Than in our lives. i'd like to think Than is a talkative drunk :) btw none of this dialogue is canon until the end so it may seem OOC but i'm blaming that on the alcohol,, also like.. canon than/meg interactions are so few and far between,, and i'm starved for content

Thanatos doesn’t know how to face Zagreus. 

Anger burns hot, then burns out. Since the encounter in Elysium, the embers have been slowly fizzling out. Thanatos once again finds himself doubled over on the southwest balcony, trying to steady his shaky breathing. This has been happening far too often, these stupid, entirely pointless panic attacks. His brain is determined to remind him at every opportunity exactly how he’d acted like an impulsive, emotional idiot. He is a god, he is above petty human emotion.

But every time he feels a pull toward some chamber in the Underworld - no doubt the prince in the middle of another escape attempt - the memory of Zagreus’s face and the fearful look in his eye from their most recent encounter in Elysium burns into his brain. It makes his head pound and freezes him in his tracks. 

He wants to see Zagreus, he really does. Because… what if Zagreus does it this time? What if he finally escapes this time and he’s whisked away to Mount Olympus forever, and Thanatos never gets to see him ever again? Would Zagreus miss him? What if Zagreus wouldn’t miss him because they’ve been so … _bad_ lately?

 _If he didn’t hate you before, he definitely hates you now_ , an insidious voice echoes in his mind. _Did you see the way he looked at you? He was afraid -_

“Than.” A quiet, raspy voice drags him from the depths of his worry. He glances over his shoulder to find a familiar blue-skinned Fury standing a respectful distance behind him, arms crossed across her chest, lips pursed in concern. His headache fades at the sight. Part of him is angry and ashamed that she’s here like this, perceiving him like this. The other part of him is grateful that she’s just lifted what feels like the weight of the world off his shoulders. 

Meg knows him well enough to stay where she is, to let Than come to her when he’s ready - _if_ he’s ready. So she waits as he rises slowly, spine unfurling as if he were stretching, until he’s upright and no longer on the ground, then turns to fully face her. 

“Hey, so,” Meg juts her chin toward the lounge. “I seem to have free time. Care to join me for a drink?” 

The corners of his mouth turn up ever so slightly, and he exhales from his nose a little more forcefully. She grins.

* * *

Neither of them have been keeping track of how many drinks they’ve each had, which is particularly dangerous, since both of them are technically still supposed to be working. No rest for the wicked, and all that. But the liquor keeps flowing, Lord Hades is busy with paperwork, and Mother Nyx is off somewhere, so Thanatos and Megaera let themselves enjoy a brief interlude. 

“The whole thing’s stupid, _he’s_ stupid for even trying to escape,” Thanatos drawls. “Does he not know his own house’s motto, _there is no escape_!” 

Meg snorts at his terrible impression of their mutual boss as blasphemous as it is, and downs another shot. “Tell me about it. And he’s so chipper about it, too, it’s really so infuriating. Makes my job that much harder.”

“It’s hard to stay mad at him when he’s like that, isn’t it?” He says slowly, quietly. Meg would call his tone ‘dreamy,’ were they not inebriated. Thanatos gestures around vaguely. “He even cleaned all this up. Zag’s just. He’s just too…”

“Good?” Meg supplies. She sips her next shot thoughtfully. “I agree. He’s too good to be stuck down here.” 

Thanatos doesn’t say anything. He’s been thinking that, too, but he was always afraid that if he actually admitted it, then the Fates would acknowledge his words and manifest them into existence. But they already exist in a world where one day in the future, Zagreus would no longer be _stuck down here_. He feels his chest constrict again. He tells himself it’s the alcohol.

The god of death rests his head on the table and lets out an exaggerated sigh. “He’s going to go up there and realize that’s where he belongs. And he’ll stay up there and never see me again because he hates me.” 

Meg sputters. “ _That’s_ what this is about? You think he hates you?” 

“I thought I could learn to be okay with him hating me, but now that he actually hates me -”

“Than.” 

Meg coaxes his head upright. He relishes the feel of her cool skin against his flushed cheeks and tilts into her palm, but she pulls away, gripping him by his shoulders and trying to force him to meet her gaze. Her expression is stern and no-nonsense, and Thanatos could almost smile. “I don’t think Zagreus hates you.” 

“He _does -_ ”

“Listen!” she snaps. “Listen to me. Does your job description include trying to stop him by killing him? Have you ever actually physically hurt him ever while he’s out there?”

“Well, no - ”

“Because I have, Than. Even got him a few times at the beginning of this whole mess. And he still tries to cozy up to me every damn time he pops out of the Styx. Because that’s how he is. That’s just how Zagreus is.” Satisfied, she lets go of him and leans back, regarding him thoughtfully. “He couldn’t hate you even if he tried.” 

Meg has never seen the god of death pout before and under normal circumstances, she would be thoroughly enjoying the sight, were the cause of his poutiness not so frustrating. For someone so brilliant, he could be so dense sometimes. 

“Why did you go to him the first time?” she questions.

Thanatos is silent for a while, tracing the rim of a shot glass with his finger, watching the liquid inside ripple. “At first, I was angry. I wanted to see for myself. That he was actually leaving, I mean. I was so angry, I just wanted him to know it.” 

“I get that. You’re allowed to be angry. We’re both allowed to be angry about all of this, you know,” Meg points out. “It’s not as if these are isolated incidents. It’s affecting everyone in the House. He’s not exactly a welcome face here anymore, at least by my standards.”

He barks out a laugh and knocks back the shot in front of him with a grimace. “But you’ve seen him out there too, so you know. You know how badly he wants this. He’s never wanted anything like this and I...” He frowns and trails off, not knowing how to finish the rest of that sentence. Meg looks at him expectantly. He blinks. 

Thanatos appreciates Meg and her never-failing ability to provide him _exactly_ what he needs whenever he needs it… but he never knows what to do when she does things like this, like trying to make him acknowledge and process his feelings. Because he can't right now. He's drunk.

“You’re also allowed to want things, too,” she sighs. “Not everything has to be about that selfish prince, even though he makes it that way. But you should probably figure out what exactly it is you want first, Than.” She rests her chin on intertwined fingers and smirks. 

He furrows his brow, confused. “I said some really harsh things…” 

Meg feels herself getting much more sober and much less patient. She can only handle so much of a highly inebriated, emotionally-constipated god. 

“Look, Than, maybe you did act like a self-righteous prick, maybe you didn’t. If you really feel that badly, all you can do now is apologize. If he’ll let you. But that was then and this is now, and we have work to do…” 

Oh, _no_. What terrible timing, Meg thinks. Thanatos’s back is to the entrance of the lounge so he can’t see that Zagreus is peering inside, mismatched eyes brightening at the sight of them. 

“ _Uh,_ anyway, Than, I think we’d best continue this discussion at some other time,” she says pointedly, flicking her gaze in the prince’s direction. Thanatos, as drunk as he is, catches on quickly and sobers up immediately - perks of being a god - just as Zagreus slides into the empty seat at their table, grinning and oblivious.

An unfamiliar emotion takes root in Thanatos’s stomach as he realizes that Zagreus is here, sitting with them instead of sauntering back off to the depths of the Underworld. He dismisses the feeling as a lingering after-effect of the alcohol.

“You’re interrupting private conversation, Zagreus,” he mutters, looking away so he doesn’t have to see the pang of hurt flash across the prince’s face. “Leave us.”

“No, let him stay, if that’s what he wants,” Meg challenges, rising to her feet. She towers above the prince by a head or so, and the prince tilts his head up to match her gaze. “What does it matter? He’s technically allowed within these halls, but he must know he isn’t welcome anymore.”

This time, it’s Zagreus who leaves without a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm borrowing the 'instantly sober' trick from good omens because drunk Than is too fun. also, no, zagreus in fact does not have cutesy flavor dialogue after running into these two in the lounge, and neither of them leave so it's just a very awkward time all around!


	6. *IMPORTANT NOTICE*

Hi everyone!

I started writing fanfiction back in 2010 (don't ask me how old I was) on fanfiction dot net. Then, I opened my Ao3 account in 2017 after many people recommended this site to me. At first, I was blown away by the simpler user interface, extensive tagging system, the uh fact i can write porn, and the sheer amount of impressive, talented writers on this site. 

At times I appreciate how pro-writer this site is. However, it has recently come to my attention that while this site protects its writers, it does not extend the same courtesy to vulnerable peoples.

I cannot in good conscience continue to post on a site that allows sexually explicit RPF (real people fiction) involving minors, and [when made aware of this problem](https://cishetsbeingcishet.tumblr.com/post/634438739205259264/theres-been-a-lot-of-back-and-forth-about-ao3-in), argues that it is not against their Terms of Service. 

I've been uncomfy with a lot on this site, and I draw the line when it **protects** people who write explicit works about literal children who exist in real life who have not consented to be in these fics, who are not even able to consent!

Let me make this clear: I have been on the internet for a long time. I too was exposed to explicit content as a minor. I get it. This isn't me being an "anti" or whatever you call it, this isn't about censorship or regulating your own content consumption, this is about the fact that **re** **al life children** should not be the subject of explicit sex fics that include rape and abuse! I am disgusted! This is beyond dead dove don't eat. Minors already have such little power in protecting themselves in this world and this site does not need to make it more difficult for them. We cannot prioritize fiction over humans. **Real people get hurt.**

So! Anyway! I will be moving [**back**](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2155345/litto-fish) to fanfiction dot net @/litto.fish indefinitely until Ao3 does something about this situation in some shape or form. No hard feelings if you choose not to continue reading my fics because of this decision. I'll be sad to see you go and I hope you choose to find me again in the future.

You can read _Learn to Live a Little_ [here](https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13745235/1/)! Next chapter coming soon!

If you have other fanfic sharing site suggestions, drop them in the comments below!

If you want to keep shouting with me about Hades, follow me on twitter @/litto_fish

Thank you all for your kudos and comments and bookmarks and subscriptions! I've really appreciated them so far, you have no idea what this short fic has meant to me. 

See you elsewhere,

<3 Fish


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